So, I’m back!
This post is going to be super random, it’s an on the spot one, no planning, no pre shot pictures, literally just rolling out the camera roll.
It’s been a good few months, and Oh My God, things have changed! Let me fill you in before I crack on with my weird thoughts…
As most people know in 2017 I decided to take the plunge in to becoming a MUA. I’d been doing make up now and again since 2010 one shoots anyway, but never really thought about going pro. I did a course in 2015, started doing friends make up and here I am, with a budding and successful new business venture.
I have started having lip fillers by Jo Boyton, as my lips were one of my biggest insecurities. I plan to have another ml or more in June. I’ve had micro blading done by Laura Lou Gray, I went for the ombré style, this means hairstroke to shading .. I think? But on my god, I love my brows, and I hated them so, so much before.
Wedding photography bookings have more than quadrupled in the past 8 months, meaning starting from the end of this month, I’ll be shooting 2-4 weddings per week, and being part of couples biggest days of their lives. I’m happy with that!
What else has happened?! I have a new car! My Mini broke, I bought a dodgy BMW, now I’m in the soft top Audi club.
I have new hair! (Separate blog post coming up) but I’ve gone from black/grey to platinum blonde/grey, and I love it. All thanks to Hair By Jess…
Anyway, on with the thoughts…
I was doing the school run, and was looking around at all of the mums, just thinking ‘I wonder if they overthink things as much as I do’ So as I do, I spoke my thoughts and said to my friend Jess, I wish I wasn’t so weird, why can’t I just be one of these normal Mums’
They all look so normal! I wonder if they lay awake at night tossing and turning because they’re thinking too much and can’t shut down. I wonder if they ‘have’ to sleep on their partners side of the bed when they’re working night shifts because they might sleep better. I wonder if they iron every single piece of clothing in their household, or what if they don’t iron at all? Ya see, things like this bug me, and I find myself odd.
Do they look at me and think the same? Who even is normal these days and what is normal? I’ve had massive insecurity issues, and I’ll admit, I still do now, I still feel massively self conscious, but does everybody? To the extent that I do?
But then how do I feel insecure, if I can go three days out of 7 with wearing no make up at all, go to the shop with no bra on, pyjamas under my coat? Do other Mum’s do this?
I want so many answers to so many things. I want to know how to get rid of certain memories. And how to remember other memories for as long as I possibly can. Do other people struggle holding a full conversation when they have things on their mind, like I’ll just shut down, do a little mumble, agree and change the subject, people must think I’m a right sausage!
I honestly think I have about 4 people in this world that I can express my weird thoughts to, my besties and my fella, I know they’ll never judge, as much as I’m probably telling my readers right now and you’re all judging nine ways to Sunday haha! Maybe I’ll get some answers…
So there you go, I’m sure as soon as I post this I’ll think of more odd thoughts that I could’ve posted. Other than that, I’m happy and content at the moment, no drama, no negativity and no toxic people around me. I’m in happy land right now.
Peace out 💕
Hannah S.C x
Microblading – Laura Lou Gray
Hair – Hair By Jess
Instagram – Hannah Smith Chilton
Wedding Instagram – Weddings By Hannah Smith Chilton